the Odd Kouple

Unless you have been under a rock and don’t watch any TV (or live in a country where you don’t get ABC) then you probably know that the finale of LOST aired May 23, 2010.  I am not going to offer any theories or anything like that.  Just a quick story with a video. 

Nikki and I have followed LOST since it aired on my birthday September 22, 2004.  We even used season one as material for a bible study.  Thinking that the finale was going to air on Tuesday the 25th, I scheduled to go with a friend rock climbing to Sand Rock, AL.  Once I realized that it was going to air while I was camping, well…I had to figured out a fun techie way to still watch it.  Check out the video. 

For those that know me, you will definitely get a good laugh out of this.  Enjoy!

Tags: abc, camping, Daniel Hardeman, droid, lost, slingbox, television, tivo

It has been some time since we posted.  I am sure you are wondering if we have fallen off the face of the earth.  Trust me that’s not the case. We have just been packed full of activities and getting into a new rhythm.  In fact, one of those activities I want to share with you right now. 

As many of you already know, Nikki decided some time ago to leave the CBF of GA and stay at home with Natalie.  This has been a wonderful, yet challenging transition.  The time Nikki has had with Natalie has been a blessing.  At the same time, Nikki has also found something to keep her involved in ministerial life.  In my eyes, she has found a little niche that fits her perfectly. 

I have been blessed to find a beautiful woman, but also one that has a great mind.  The thing that I have always loved about her preaching is that she would always bring out new perspectives and fresh ideas on biblical texts that I had never thought about before.  Even texts that I have heard preached on hundreds of times.  That’s why I love her new project and wanted to share it with you. 

Currently she is the face and writer behind a new form of discipleship media.  She is working with Faithelement.com to create background material for Sunday School classes or small groups.  The material is provided free of charge but is supported by donations and sponsors.  I encourage you to check them out and spread the word if it is something you find meaningful. 

Nikki provides the background information and research through a short video while other writers provide a variety of other material to accompany it.  When we look at new ways to approach our beliefs, I believe this will be one of those channels that people will gravitate towards. 

If anything, use it for your own meditations and growth as Nikki does what I love and brings a fresh pair of eyes to biblical texts.  Check out the links below and like I said….spread the Word.  I hope to post new videos as the become available. (Did I mention she is in HD…for me that’s just cool.)

Faith Element Home Page – provides full explanation of what they are trying to accomplish.

Collection of Nikki’s Videos found at Vimeo – Nikki’s FaithElement video collection

The June 6th video….(includes a blooper reel!  See if you can find the moment where Natalie interrupts the filming.)

I hope everyone is going great!  Thanks again for all your support!

Daniel

Tags: background, bible study, biblical, church, discipleship, Faith, faithelement, Nikki Hardeman, school, small group, sunday, vimeo

It is about time we put up something on here that is just plain fun.  I mean, I know for some the rock climbing entry was a blast for you since you got to see my rear end in a harness…but I digress.  Natalie has gotten to the point now that she enjoys the ABC show Dancing with the Stars.  She has actually become a great little dancer all on her own by mimicking the actions on the show.  So, I thought it would be fun to show everyone a fun clip of Natalie giving me a demonstration of her version of Dancing with the Stars.  So, without further ado….I present to you, Natalie.  Our own dancing star!

Hope you had fun on this one!  Isn’t she cute?!

Daniel

Tags: abc, Dancing with the stars, Natalie, television, tv show

It is difficult to come to you right now with this update.  It is a late update, as I have found it hard to contemplate this happening to our family again.  With all that we have been through it was tough for me to wrap my head around what has been going on.  Below is an update from my brother regarding Ingrid.  I will let his words speak to you.  Below that is a beautiful message from my little sister, Rebecca.  As I just cannot find the words to properly share with you right now.  Please continue to lift our family up in your thoughts and prayers.

With a broken heart,

Daniel

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April 23, 2010

Dear friends,

We want to thank each of you for the encouraging emails we have been receiving this week.  Your prayers have been priceless.  We have truly felt the peace and grace of God this week.

This is just to inform you that Ingrid Carolina Mejia-Rosales, Claudia’s sister, passed away today peacefully.  A Pulminary Blood Clot after routine gall bladder surgery caused a heart attack.  She has been unresponsive since Tuesday afternoon.  She has now gone to be in the arms of our Lord and Savior.

Just before her passing all her siblings, their spouses and her parents circled around her and prayed.  It was a very peaceful passing.

We continue to covet your prayers.

The funeral service will be held at Capillas Los Cipreses at 42 Ave. Final Y 6 Calle, Zona 5, in Guatemala City.  We will send out further details soon.

In lieu of flowers please send donations to:
American Bushido-kai Karate Association
ATTN: Nathan “Ingrid” Hardeman
PO Box 14288
Tulsa OK 74159-1288

Ingrid was 33 years old.  She is survived by her father, Luis Arturo Mejia, her mother Hilda Rosales, her 4 siblings: Iris, Roblans, Claudia & Diana, her niece, Madeline and her nephews Levi and Caleb.

Thank you again for all of your support, encouragement and prayers.

Pray for continued strength and fortitude in this difficult time.

Leaning on God’s strength,

Nathan, Claudia & Family

*****

From Becca:

They said that the funeral was very nice and a great number of people showed up.  Really does go to show what an amazing person she was and the impact she has had on those around her in her workplace, community and family.  I learned today that she was the first one in her family to come to know Christ and the others followed behind.  As far as I know, donations are going to cover costs of the hospitals and the funeral and then I don’t know what else after that.  God has provided for the hospital charges to be covered, but I think the funeral ones are still there.  Please continue to pray for the family as this has been a huge challenge for them right now and will continue to be for years to come.  Right now, they need rest, but they are going to need strength and courage to get through many days ahead.  Thank you for your support and encouragement and for caring.  We appreciate you.  I appreciate you.

Through His Grace,

Becca

Tags: becca hardeman, Hardeman, ingrid, nathan hardeman

Hello everyone.  I come to you with a heavy heart to ask for an extremely urgent prayer request regarding my brother’s sister-in-law.  In the photo Ingrid is on the left with her mother on the right.  Please read Nathan’s message below for the prayer needs.  Please be in prayer for Ingrid, Nathan & Claudia as well as her sister and mother. 

Daniel

Dear Prayer Warriors,

Claudia’s sister, Ingrid went in for routine gall bladder surgery Tuesday morning.  She was stable and recovering well when at 3:00 PM a blood clot went to her lung and caused a Pulmonary Embolism.  It cause her to have a heart attack, and since then has been unresponsive.  At 7:30PM her blood pressure dropped and her abdomen began to swell.  Fearing she was bleeding out internally they took her back in to review the surgery.  Everything was fine, but when they put a tube up her nose and down to her stomach about 2 pints of blood came out.  Since last night they have been able to stabilize the bleeding, her wound is healing well, her oxygen level has been stable, and her heart rate has been normal.  Physically she seems to be well.  We had to transfer her to another hospital for further evaluation.  The danger now is that there is no neurological response at all.  She will be going in for a cat scan shortly.   Ingrid is 33.

We trust God to work the miracle and know that He loves her more than we ever did.  Please pray that God provide complete and total healing, that He may make all things new, and that this experience be used to bring more people to Christ.

We thank you for your prayer and love for the family in this difficult time.  We’ll keep you posted as we are able to get on the internet.

God bless,
Nathan & Claudia

Tags: prayer, prayer request

It has been a long road for us since Christmas and we have taken our time in posting something up to give us some healing time.  We still have our low days, but I know that for me, there is has been a lot of positive change.  More good days than bad I believe.  The love and support we felt from all of you before, during and after has been uplifting and indescribable.  So I wanted to share with you one of our good experiences we just had. 

Those who know what we did this past weekend are aware just how insane Nikki and I may actually be.  Friday through Sunday we spent out time in Sand Rock, AL camping out and going rock climbing with our 2 1/2 year old along with our close friends Jill and Rachel.  It was an amazing experience and not nearly as challenging as we thought it might be.  Natalie did AMAZING for her first camping trip.  When we got home she told Nikki that her favorite part was the dirt.  Shortly after that, she played dress up in a Cinderella outfit.  I guess you could say she is a well rounded child.   Sand Rock is one of my favorite rock climbing spots.  I used to teach climbing at Camp Widjiwagan in Antioch, TN (they called me Houdini).  It was one of my favorite jobs.  After 2 weeks of lessons on a ropes course and a large alpine climbing tower I would take my campers on an overnight stay to Sand Rock as a reward for their hard work. 

On this trip there were tons of people showing up for camping and climbing enjoying this area.  We almost didn’t get a good climbing spot.  But found a good starter climb for everyone.  Natalie didn’t make it far, but loved trying and swinging from the rope in her new harness.  The ladies did great on the first climb and seemed to be enjoying themselves.  For me, this was a nice healing time.  Getting back to some of my roots before I joined the corporate world and just got too busy with life. 

My worry before we went was that I had lost my touch, but I was glad to know that Papi still has it!  Over the past month or so I have tried to take steps to get healthier physically to help me get healthier mentally.  It was rewarding to see that pay off.  I was worried that my 31 yr old body wasn’t going to do more than one or two climbs…however, the extra prep time made me feel better than when I was 21 or 22 and did these climbs before. 

The first day of climbing I was able to scale the rocks, setup the climbs, give proper instructions, even help some strangers with their climbs…and even complete my climbs without hurting myself or feeling sore afterwards.  But the real challenge came the next day.  I decided to face a climb called “Pressure Sensitive” located right next to another route called “Midget Digits.”  Pressure Sensitive is considered a 5.10 climb.  It is about 90-100 feet high with a slight inverse overhang part way up with most of the hand holds requiring finger tip grips.  This was my test for the day.  Our prior climbs were roughly 5.7-5.8 climbs.  Those offer some challenges for beginners. 

But this was the day for me to face my mountain.  We had faced so many over the last 5 months, this was my time to step up and overcome feelings of defeat.  I felt inadequate in front of this massive obstacle.  After an hour or so of working my way through the first challenge, then the second, and so on all the way to the top, with several stops along the way to fight feelings of self doubt…I finally felt a sense of reward as I kissed the 2 carabineers that anchored the rope at the top.  I knew what the final reward was as I turned to enjoy it.  Behind me was a breathtaking view of the valley.  It is one thing to walk to the edge from the road and take in this view, but I can assure you that it is a whole different experience when you come from the bottom.

This is how I have felt lately.  Each day has been a challenge and each day I have to fight off feelings of doubt and sadness.  But each day that I overcome another challenge, I build that confidence to get past the next one.  I hope that you have enjoyed the pictures that accompany this post.  I am also including a video at the bottom of Natalie enjoying swinging under Pressure Sensitive.  Thank you all again for your continued support.  We love you all!

Click on the Photo Album to see more of our adventure.  And check out the video at the bottom of Natalie “Climbing.

Climbing and Camping

Daniel (aka Houdini)

Tags: alabama, Antioch, area, beginners, Behind, Camp, campers, christmas, Cinderella, confidence, Daniel, Daniel Hardeman, Digits, dirt, feet, High, Houdini, hour, instructions, jobs, ladies, lessons, life, Midget, mountain, Natalie, Nikki, Nikki Hardeman, obstacle, Papi, Points, Pressure, Rachel, road, Rock, rock climbing, Sand, sand rock, self, Sensitive, setup, starter, strangers, Thank, valley, Widjiwagan

I (Nikki) am not known for my green thumb. I have lots of wonderful gifts, but keeping potted plants alive has not normally been one of them. I water them too much or forget about them and don’t water them enough. However, as a result of the love and care of our friends after Aiden’s funeral, we became the caretakers of three beautiful new plants in our home.

I felt a little intimidated at the idea of keeping these plants alive. However, it is one month later and they still are. Dare I say they may even be thriving? It has been good to be able to care for something over the last month and I am grateful that they are not wilting pitifully in a corner somewhere. It is a small miracle that they are still lovely and green.

That said, it has been one month today since our precious Aiden both entered and left our world. Daniel, Natalie and I shared the evening by visiting Aiden’s grave and leaving flowers there. We both find a strange peace when we are at that spot. We believe that he is not in that ground, but we know it is where his body lays and that is comforting in some strange way.

Thank you to so many of you who remembered this day and sent your love and care through emails and phone calls. We truly are blessed to have so many that love us.

With Hope,

Nikki, Daniel and Natalie

Tags: Aiden, Aiden John, anniversary, Daniel Hardeman, miracles, Nikki Hardeman

I wrote the following about a week ago, but decided to wait to post it.  To be honest, I wasn’t sure it would be a good idea.  I tried to write an honest post about what the grief is like.  After I wrote it, I thought, “if I post this people will think I’m losing it.”  So I sat on it for a while.

I kept thinking about the post and wondering if other people felt hesitant to articulate what their grief was like to friends and family.  It does seem to be a taboo subject in our world and I think that it might be even more taboo to talk about the grief when it is a child who has died.  People who are concerned about the grieving person are afraid they will make it worse by talking about it; and grieving people think they will make others uncomfortable if they confess how sad they really feel.

So, I have decided to post what I have written.  If for no other reason than to share my experience with those of you who carry your own grief.  I figure that there are a lot of people out there who have lost people that they loved very much and my hope is that what I have written below will resonate with your soul.

Please know that Daniel and I both are walking this journey the best way we know how.  Most of the time, we are dealing really well and it seems that when one of us needs a little break from reality, the other can step up and be a support.  We are so grateful for all of the loving support we have received and we know that we could not be managing as well as we are without it.

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Confession:  Grief is hard.  Anyone who has walked its road will attest to this fact.  No day is the same.  Sometimes I wake up feeling fine and other days I wake up and immediately want to go back to sleep so I don’t have to face the day.  Some days I go almost the whole day without crying, but on most days, I loose count of how many times I cry.

Grief is emotional.  I feel sad most of the time, but occasionally I will feel angry.   When I feel angry, I am frustrated because it doesn’t feel like it has anywhere to go. I’m not angry at anyone in particular, just the circumstances.  Then, I realize that I’m to tired to be angry, and it kind of dissolves away and gives way to more sadness…absolutely overwhelming and heavy sadness.

Grief is physical. More than angry, even more than sad, I feel tired.  I have been a little surprised by how incredibly exhausted I have been.  When I am able to sleep, it is a deep, deep sleep.  I am always grateful for sleep and I never feel like I get enough of it.  tired.  My body is tired and sometimes it aches because it is so tired.  Each day, I have a list of things that I want to get done and not yet have I finished everything on my list in a day.  Usually, I get one thing done and that is all I have the energy for.  Some days, I get none of it done, because it is all I can do to give Natalie the attention she needs.  She is my top priority each day.

Grief is mental.  I can be in the middle of an activity and completely forget what I was doing.  If someone asks me if a prefer this or that, I become paralyzed to answer.  Every decision, even the little ones, like what I’m going to wear or eat, feel overwhelmingly difficult to make.   Sometimes it just feels like the world is moving way to fast and that it is too loud.  Any stimulation is to much right now.  When the world feels like too much, I seem to check out because I cannot take it all in right now.

Everything about it is hard.  And most of the time, I wish it would just stop.

But I can’t.  I cannot skip it, I cannot go around it or over it or under it.  All I can do is walk through it.  Everyone says that eventually it does get easier; that one day, I will be able to dress myself without feeling overwhelmed; that one day, I will be able to make be able to decide what to feed my daughter without feeling like I am moving a mountain; that one day, I will have the energy to accomplish all the things I want to accomplish in a day; that one day, I will not walk around all day wondering what it was that I was doing; that one day, I will feel mostly like myself again.

But the ache…no one has said that one day, it won’t ache.  It seems I get to keep that part the rest of my life.  I think that one day, it will ease a little, but I now live on the after side of loosing my child.  There was this part of my life that was before we lost Aiden.  And now there is this part of my life that is after.  So much of the after is different from the before.  But, it’s not all bad.  Well, right now, most of it is really bad…most of it hurts more than I can describe.  But, I do think that there are things that will become more positive as time goes on.  The only reason I think this is because I have known other people who have lost children and they have had good things emerge out of the tragedy that it is.  I imagine that these people would give all of the good back, if they got to get their children back; I know I would.  But that is not how life works.  For now, we have to figure out how to live this life that we have been given.  We have to figure out how to move forward…or for me right now, not fall backwards.  Right now, I’ll take holding steady.  I’ll work on moving forward a little later.

So, this is grief.  It is hard and messy and frustrating and I’d rather not do it.  But here we are doing the best we can with it, and trying to find the good in it.

Tags: Aiden, Aiden John, grief, Natalie

As I (Daniel) sit here holding the first blanket Aiden was wrapped in after birth, I can’t help but look back and reflect on how we told him goodbye.  Many families in similar situations as ours do not always have time to say a proper goodbye.  As difficult as it was for us to know the diagnosis so early on, it was a blessing in its own right.  Having that extra time to get everything setup ahead of time helped to give us the time and the freedom to wrap our love around Aiden’s precious soul when he arrived. 

Nikki and I have talked and agreed that we wanted to share with you all some of the details of the ceremony.  First, I would like to give a giant thank you to Snow’s Memorial for how comfortable they made the process.  In such hard times, they made it such a wonderful experience where we will not regret any detail of the service. 

Prior to the service, we were given time to bring in professional photographers to create lasting memories (more on this in a future post).  Snow’s also allowed multiple visits from us and family.  But the amazing part was the small private service on Monday December 28th.

With the time that we had we were able to find a beautiful, peaceful location at Riverside Cemetery.  I do not remember a lot of details about the service.  I mainly remember the healing feeling I had.  As we sat there looking at the beautiful arrangement and the picture of Nikki and me holding Aiden close and kissing his soft head, I couldn’t help but be overcome by sadness and peace at the same time.  We did everything right in our situation to put Aiden to rest.  The only detail at the time we were not sure of was how Natalie would react to all of this. 

Prior to the service Natalie had been amazing.  As everything began unfolding on that beautiful day, Natalie sat still next to Nikki.  As the service continued, she began to take on another role as a healer.  She got out of her seat and walked over to me.  With a big grin on her face she reached up for me to hold her.  Once in my lap she took several measures to assure Nikki and I were ok.  I believe she saw our sadness, but knew that everything was going to be ok.

At the times that I cried, she would gently wipe my tear drops off with a tissue.  Then she would lean forward and give me a sweet kiss.  At other times, almost instinctively, knowing that I needed to smile would give me an Eskimo kiss and a butterfly kiss to ease my pain.  during one of the prayers, she wrapped one arm around my neck, leaned to her left and pulled mommy in with the other arm giving us a strong hug with a huge smile on her face. 

By that point, it was hard not to feel like everything would be ok.  How sweet she was.  My heart broke over those days for Nikki, for myself and for the fact that Natalie would not be able to show Aiden how wonderful and caring of a sister she would be.  In those moments at the service I felt that we had given Aiden a wonderful home surrounded by love.  Natalie also made sure of it. 

After the service, Natalie spent a few minutes softly touching the flowers on Aiden’s casket and even pulling a small one out for herself.  I kneeled down next to her and she immediately said, “These Aiden’s flowers.”  I said, “Yes ma’am, they are.  But it is time to say goodbye to Aiden.”  She moved over and stood in front of me with a peaceful look on her face.  I asked her, “Can you tell your little brother goodbye and blow him a kiss?”  With no hesitation, she softly said, “Goodbye, Aiden.  Luvs you.”  Then reached her hand up and blew him a kiss.  Without lingering, she turned and walked away as if to know it was time to go. 

I reached out and brushed the flowers softly and said my goodbyes, taking one of the tiny roses and putting it in my jacket pocket.  I couldn’t help but smile at what I had just witnessed with Natalie.  How sweet that goodbye was.  I could feel a sense of fulfillment thanks to the inner beauty of my 2yr old.  And it of course, for those that know Natalie, didn’t hurt to hear her words in that sweet voice that she has.   She had become the best therapy I could ever have during and after the entire service. 

With peaceful love,

Daniel, Nikki, and Natalie

Tags: Aiden, Aiden John, arrangement, Cemetery, ceremony, Daniel, December, diagnosis, families, freedom, Goodbye, Goodbyes, Hardeman, healer, Memorial, memories, Natalie, Nikki, peace, photographers, Riverside, roses, situation, situations, therapy

The birth of Aiden John was one of the most beautiful moments of my (Nikki’s) life.  Though he was very small, he took up an awfully big space in our hearts and in our lives.  And though he never took a breath on this earth, he will forever be a part of the fabric of our lives.  Little Aiden was absolutely beautiful and I will never forget the first moment I saw him and got to hold him.  He had 10 little fingers and 10 little toes.  He had his father’s forehead and his sister’s perfect little mouth.  He also had nearly as much hair as she did when she was born.

We were so grateful to the medical staff at Central Georgia Medical Center.  They took really good care of us and allowed our family time to meet baby Aiden.  My favorite moments were watching Natalie with him.  We let her have complete control over how close she got to him.  At first, she just wanted to look at him while sitting in her Papi’s lap.  Then she touched the blanket that he was wrapped in and then gave him a little tap on his nose.  Then all of a sudden she wanted to hold him.  It made my heart feel so warm to see her being so gentle and loving to her little brother.  We had a rag that was there to dab a little Aiden’s nose because he was having a little bit of a nose bleed.  As he was passed from one family member to another, the rag would easily be forgotten and fall to the floor.  Every time, Natalie would pick up the rag, hand it to the person holding Aiden, and say, “That’s Aiden’s!” She was so proud to help take care of him.  And I was proud of the way she loved him.  I also felt so sad that I would not get to see how she would be a big sister to him.  That is something that I will always wish I could have seen.

After the family left the hospital, we hung around to wait on the funeral home to come and get Aiden.  Letting him go that night was the most difficult thing I have ever had to do.  There was no way I could prepare for it and to be honest I thought I might literally break in two as I did so.  I don’t really know how we managed to do the things that we had to do that night—all I do know is that I didn’t do it by myself.  I know this because I wasn’t capable of doing it by myself.  Daniel and I both had someone carrying us through it, making it possible for us to take each step as we had to take.

And that is how the last five days have been.  For me, they have been a blur, but I do know that there have been all kinds of people around, taking care and loving my family and me.  I hope to write down some more of the things that have happened over the last several days.  At first we didn’t think we would see Aiden again, but we were able to see him a couple more times and that was a wonderful gift.  I will write more about all of it soon.

Though we continue to hurt deeply, we find ourselves so grateful for all of those who have helped to make this all a little more bearable.  We are grateful that God has given us friends and family who can so tangibly show us God’s love and compassion.  It is these gifts that have and continue to carry us through.

Thank you for your prayers and words of comfort.

Daniel, Nikki, and Natalie

Tags: Aiden, edward's syndrome, Family, Natalie, trisomy 18